ryme 12.26.11

i was raised on lies
to be like everyone else
go to school
stay out of trouble
get into college
keep a good health
land a nice job
pay all the bills
get a house
a car
wife
n kids
buy a cookie cutter home
just to blend in
but i'm the black sheep here
just dont fit in
most think i'm crazy
going against the grain
life without color
thought without the brain
unplugged from the matrix
i see them run around
unaware of reality
a path
they dont dare touchdown
but why me?
who lit the fuse to this bomb
blew out the side of my head
more clear
yet more is gone

hoy

as the years have past
every earths rotation counts as a new
i wake up to the noise
the nothingness i void
grew up poor
but i never knew it
looking back on those days
i'm sure i showed it
yet the rich are most poor
and many poor rich
our outlook on life differs
just like the little and big dipper
i became a stoner
now a loner
kickin rymes in my head
full time joner
humans feel distant
like from another realm
i walk this earth smilin
until the end....

path to my mind

the path isnt deep
just under my skull
its hard as a rock
to help guard it all
info of life
stored within
buncha mushy shit
if you dare to look in
theres not much there
some dust, cob-webs
and a box
with nothing in it
i'm leaving my mind behind
i found it useless
its only brought pain
sadness to the unwilling

final beat

on the day i die
i wish to be cremated
set my ashes free
so they can 4ever ride the breeze
i wanna be one with the earth
to be with my 2nd mother
the one whom gives us life
and new days to live
send my love to all
this my dying wish

MLK

I heard of a man
who once had a dream
of racial equality
brotherhood amongst colors
where all race played as one
the world latino black
white and yellow were unheard
when will this day come
and togetherness can be universal
no one chooses their race
nor color
so why should they be judged
4 a choice no one can change?

X (song)

i once had a woman
fine as she could be
told me she loved me
yeah, you know the story
she feed me all this bull
told me this and that
talked about forever
everytime we'd chit chat
then the picture became clear
and she proved it was a lie
talking about loven me
till the day she died
shes still alive
lovin someone else
damm that blasted women
blasted woman from hell
so here i play
completely broken hearted
mentally lost
emotionally crushed
blues hurtin so bad
but i'm just gettin started!

past: unknown date (08 ish)

Many have spoken
many haven't be heard
many have shown
many saw a blur
some see the light
while others view dark
some are ready to sacrifice
many, nothing at all
i've seen em insane
n some with no brain
i held new life
n i've mourned the dead
i had real
but it was a fake
the chance i took for love
was it a mistake?

past: 12-14-08

you told me you loved me
i did all i could
you left me broken hearted
hopeless & lost
and feeling blue
how can you do this
create all this pain
tellin me you still love me
yet you show no shame
cut at the heart
bleeding it all out
tears which form a river
my spirit let out
a love
i am without

sight

they say 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'
yet he has no eyes
with his third eye sight
he sees the light
deep in the darkness of one
regardless of day or night
sadness and smiles
seem to come and go
energy one puts off
is a light house of lumen
unsure where it comes from
as its something I feel
i see it in all humans
without trying or will

timelessness

sitting in awareness
where time doesn't exist
the midn calms down
as i let in bliss
a state of nowhere
i feel most alive
trapped in this body
gravity to hold me down
i see myself looking
almost from a distant
life doesn't seem as distortated
yet the mind returns
in conflict i stay

insane

over the past 14ish years
I've become something
i saw when i was young
a state of mind
or a state of being
a place where i unplug myself
from the world that is around me
I've always claimed
'live outside the box,
just know the box always effects you'
is something i have found
more and more true
as i rise to met and greet
the sun and moon
'We' are living all wrong
yet, 'we' don't see it
blinded by lies
tv, computers, smart phones
newspapers, media, our 'friends'
we plant ourselves in the norm
become another blade of grass
in a open plain field
looking from afar
i feel like I'm insane
seeing things from another light
unplugging myself from my brain
'seeing' without judging
as a clean chalkboard
constantly wiped clean
the ever changing photo
or picture frame which is never the same
i have yet to figure out
is it me
or the world
whom is on the path
of insane

socitey vs head vs heart

from little
the world around us instills 'values'
those are the 'things' we are made to believe
this is wrong and that is right
over time the mind begins to question 'it'
you see flaws in the system
truths become uncovered
more and more lies come to the light
then one day
it all changes again
the heart is struck with a pain
unlike one ever experienced before
the mind tries drastically to understand
yet the heart aches in pain
a pain without end
society says 'you'll be ok, it will pass'
mentally you live in a daze
lost in the confusion between heart and mind
society seems useless
yet you go back to find answers
believing answers can be found by 'asking'
instead of 'searching'
the seconds, minutes, days, weeks and years
all pass us by
some never change
but since that day
you've never been the same
the heart still aches
mind still doesn't understand
society has found a pill for your pain
all of a sudden
you see that it is the world
that is in pain

one's wants

'i want this and i want that'
we're taught, 'you'll have to go to school for that'
educated full of knowledge
yet it has no true meaning
its a mental stimulation
for the mind and its being
equations and answers
for papers and pens
take the test over
you'll do even better
try and try again
a competition to the top
against your fellow man
'so i can one day be a boss'
is what i hear them say
'the more i make,
the happier i will be'
filling life with one's wants
an emptiness deep inside of ye

third eye

my third eyes sees it
almost clear as day
it gives me all the signs
then it goes away
it happened all last night
preparing me for the worse
hours later it happened
not surprised
is all i can say
i stopped making plans
as i've let myself down before
i've been mentally lost
my mind can be quite the whore
it moves faster than i wish
its like it and i battle
i know it has its purpose
everything has a reason
so the fighting goes on
season after season

permanent mental scar

They say 'some wounds never heal'
i personally found it untrue
yet a person i love dearly
fights with her mental scar
to young to understand
she has done nothing wrong
the pain she has endured
could 'mentally' kill a man
emotional confusion
engulfed in thought
a loving spirit
what a pain others have brought
some days i just don't understand
times i sit back and observe
where did this world go wrong
lost is the mind
of this innocent human
i love so dear

diamond ring

while at a table the other day
two women were chatting about one of the women's rings
'its so big, so shiny and sparkly'
the woman's face lite up knowing the other was jealous
i found it sad
does she think her husband would love her less?
does the ring symbolize something?
its a cash transaction
for a rock which there are millions more around
the ring represents 'an idea'
that created feeling
the one which overtook her emotions when others 'oooooo' over it
i see the ring and i see food, shelter, water, family picnic, clothes
there is nothing a woman could give me to show me her love
she simply must 'show' me
in her own special way
its something the mind cannot comprehend
nor do i expect most would
everyone needs 'proof' of their love
seeing 2 people together
happily in love
is all the proof i need

my family

as the years have passed
we've drifted father and farther away
'going on your own' they say
'starting a family, white picket fence, 9 to 5' they say
is life a cycle of brainwashing
do we repeat the same thing
generation after generation after generation
finding that what the previous did to be
'the way of life'
it saddens me
to say the very least
the ones we hold close to our hearts
are bit a short 'physical' distance away
yet couldn't tell you a thing about whats going on in ones life
i haven't the slightest
its not for not trying
i just dont know
anymore......

real

what is real?
is it something we can touch?
or something you see?
science says it has to be 'physical'
a form of some sort
the so called 'black matter'
today i found that nothing is real
if its something we see, hear, feel, touch or taste
in essence its all chemical reactions
can atoms 'see' us?
we can see millions of light years away
with the all mighty Hubble telescope
yet we cannot seem to find a cure for selfishness
greed, hate, discrimination, anger
there is no cure for something that doesn't exist
anymore than there are answers a distance so far away
maybe the Hubble is a microscope
and not a telescope?
yet whatever it may find
how do we know its real?

death

if we choose to live
we also choose to die
death seems like the more fearful thing
for most humans
doctors become 'gods'
bringing the dead back to life
however,
does such actions change futures path?
if someone was suppose to die
but in the end did not
then what?
or was it suppose to be a scare
to awake them?
i embrace death
a wonder about the nothingness
there was something before me!?
or is it a circle (reincarnation)?
the path to life is through death
as they say....
no one leaves alive

foliage

the leaves are a changing
some have hit the ground
red, yellows, browns
colors are WOW!
people dont seem to notice
change that takes place
shedding of a trees leaves
just like skin cells we change
it has to happen
we must rid of the old
to make way for the new
do trees shiver?
do trees shake?
do they beg for water?
what will it take?
......when the last tree falls
you stand by and watch
or will you be planting seeds
....so life itself
can go on

change

you pray all you can
and hope for the best
through darkness
light is found
though the mind
is buried underground
lost somewhere
in the nothingness that is
misunderstood emotions
actions and thoughts
but it is this same mind
that holds her back
causing chaos and destruction
other fear attack
temporary darkness
she shes not what she does
hurting those trying to help
when all is needs is love
threats come from high and low
as your army moves in
fighting over this lost one
this one...
little kid

tone

these words cut through the air
splitting cells and hairs
into the ear canal
where the mind dwells
electrical impulses
make sense of it all
the words dont actually
dont make sense at all
you put them together
make of it as you wish
the words that ive spoken
this mind is a mess

bird watching

i've done it all my life
spend hours 'bird watching'
some dress to impress
others to cover the ego
some dont try
others coping one another
can't say i prefer one over another
when naked they all look the same
emotional roller coasters
unable to shake the mind
lost in confusion
some a waste of time
but then there are those
whom know all the 'tricks'
what do do
where to do it
the ones itching for a fix
a curl of the toes
a scream out loud
just a bird passing by
was just here
but gone for now

awareness

to sit without thought
to live on 'record'
never hitting 'rewind'
or look back for 'play'
be in the moment
as each moment is real
sit in awareness
awe at the feel
dont enclose it
or give it a name
just sit in awareness
with each breathe
each blink
each
and every
day

love

love me
as if you were blind
dont see with your eyes
see with your heart
feel my spirit
with your souls touch
share the energy
that we create
love me now
as much as my dying day
now is all we have
love me.........
and never again be sad

distance

i now the see world
from miles and miles away
an unknown mentality
a conditioned mind gone astray
left on its own
dissecting its past
seeing life differently
each breath before my last
i find it difficult
to be reabsorbed
back to what
i used to be
lost in nothingness
seeing without the blindness
words cant express
change that aspired
i look forward to the me
when i myself expire

as time passes

as time passes
leaves come and go
amount of visual sunlight changes
faces disappear into the unknown
mind evolves
yet it does not
reality becomes more apparent
for some, it does not
conditioning of the mind
has taken aeon's to create
yet within a blink
it is all taken away
back to the core
the way we were created to live
simply, happy
sharing, and to give
this world only knows consumption
never aware of its effects
spend all your life working
forgetting to actually 'live'

rhyme

if you can dig
what i'm sayin
if you kinda
understand
the words that are coming out
are from this slim man
from my mind
through the nerves
past the fingertips
to the board
processed through the CPU
uploaded into the internet brain
via wifi
A place where you can see
the things that i have thought
this is just me
me and my visual thoughts

dont miss me

when i'm dead and gone
how will you remember me?
I want a party
a cookout...the best
my family, friends, people
whom i hold close to my heart
somewhere around my chest
to have a good time
and share the laughs
we all once had
tell stories of the past
when i did such and such
how much i loved riding my moto
enjoyed watching ladies pass by
stopping to smell the roses
watching my family interact from a far
getting my hands dirty while working on their cars
i've never asked for anything
never needed anything at all
by their company
their smiles, jokes, laughs
flaws and all
memories last a lifetime
dont miss me when i'm gone
this is just a body of cells to communicate
thats all

A or B....what shall it be?

society says i need to be 'A'
yet society doesn't know of 'B'
'A' is what we're taught
same thing our parents and
many generations before them were taught
'Follow these rules'
'Follow this path'
'live this way'
'think this way'
How does one brainwash an entire society?
Generation upon generation upon generation...
'B' sees 'A' and is amazed
yet 'A' lives confused, dazed
lost in its mental maze

glasses

i was born wearing glass
all i saw was the life everyone else saw
no one told me 'truth'
nor is it something i could see
until one day i noticed the glasses
i then took them off
my new prescription
was of the unknown
or so i had thought
one of which i had always known
few see what i see
even less came imagine
this new world before me
'i love...these new glasses!'

the quake

its been many years
since the area i live in had a quake
not in my life time
but in others
while in japan
its quakes created
a psychological disorder
one that came back almost instantly
just yesterday
there were 3 more quakes
since then
i've felt everyone
yet, i continue to shake
on the inside

note

"the brain is like a well oiled machine, it is only when there is friction is there noise. The friction is created is cannot be forced quiet" JK

words from JK

"...Meditation is one of the greatest arts in life-perhaps the greatest, and one cannot possibly learn it from anybody, that is the beauty of it. It has no technique and therefore no authority. When you learn about yourself, watch yourself, watch the way you walk, how you eat, what you say, the gossip, the hate, the jealousy-if you are aware of all that in yourself, without any choice, that is part of meditation."

- Jidda Krishnamurti

gone

its not often i see the people i love
gone off somewhere doing whatever such and such
i hope they dont miss me when i'm gone
or look back and say 'i wish i spent more time with ----'
death can't be reversed
i cherish the time i have with mom and B
I still can't believe it took so long for me to see
the me that i've always wanted to be
In 2009, i lost 7 friends within 2 months
yet, i'm glad i had the time i had with them
they made me laugh,
told me stories of their past
their memory i carry
forever it will last
I once asked a man,
whom was married for 60+ years,
i saw his wife's life pass away
as the years went by,
'knowing that your wife would die, as she did...would you do it all over again?'
i said very patient
he looked at me smiled
and said 'yes'
i could see he had no regret
he lived his live
loved his wife until the end
.........
hold those close to your heart near
let them know every time you see them they are missed
as one day....we will all be gone...

the same

we are the same humans today
that we were thousands of years ago
needing: food, water, air and shelter
everywhere we go
these rules haven't changed
but somehow
part of us has
we strive to out-do one another
for selfish pleasures
from our fellow sisters and brothers
yet we are still the same
generation after generation
the gene pool multiplied
a complex mathematical equation
that started with the original one
do you not see?
we are the same

funds

a day has yet to pass
that i hear people complain about cash
they buy buy buy
and spend spend spend
a vacuum of consumption
a bag without limit
filling their lives
with nothing but useless bullshit
all 'pre-landfill' goods
moved from one location to another
its always 'i need it'
never 'i want it'
someone asked 'whats the most precious good'
...air....thats what i need the most
food and water follow

legacy

many people speak of a legacy
'i want to be remembered' they say
i have yet to find out why
is it the ego?
is it the 'i'm better than you?'

little girl

her father never bothered
her mother never tries
alone to wander the world
with only her uncle and gma by her side
whom to look up to?
whom footsteps to follow?
no girls nights out
no sleep over parties
no one to share secrets with
no one to play with
its such a struggle
i dont 'know' girly things
our minds are different
man/women evolve with different thoughts
i take her to do girly things
why the pho not!

samurai

to serve for a greater cause
die for this little one
i've chosen to try my best
not live in shame
bring comfort when she's down
hold her when in pain
i'll never let her know
what it is i can do
how far i will go
to help pull her through
as i samurai i bow to her
my life at her command
mind is strong
heart loves with all its might
i will die at your feet
any given night

image

visions of you
left imprinted on my mind
are the only reminder i have
of those good times
brings joy to my heart
smiles to my face
a chemical path you've created
just an image of your face
i can see it as clear as day
even on the darkest nights
its my warmth when i'm cold
an extra beat of the heart
thoughts of you will last forever
miss you when apart

ego

what is the ego?
why does it exist?
whom creates it?
its the 'me' we want to be
the me that we are not
the 'me' that is an abyss
its the 'me' that always insists
without vision
would the ego exist?
are we ungrateful for what we're given?
as all we do is try to fill the mental void
an unhappiness that doesn't exist
but only in one's mind

egg or cocoon

it seems to me
that as time passes by
we grow into something
from the inside
its always been there
filtering out all the bull
breaking free of the egg shell
ripping open our cocoon
world seems brighter
smiles get larger
we seem more
hear less crap
come into awareness
back to the cocoon/egg shell
i'll never go back
as you look around
so many are still stuck
unable to break free
simply put...shit outta luck
lost in the matrix
trapped by the mind
passing by the flowers
all the beauty of this world

torpedo

the words came out
but they did not register
they floated in your mind
almost lost in there forever
till the day it made contact
sparked an instant thought
reality of life
one you had never thought
it began a change
one that takes time
one that will forever
change your thoughts of mind
the world will seem different
yet all is still the same
it is we whom evolve
it is we whom need to change

distance

time has past
with each blink
i sit and ponder
the thinks i think
why we've become
the 'we'
we are now
further away from one another
in our distant towns
we lived
like sister and brother
as we aged
we forgot
whom we
once were
family that survived
family we are not

she keeps on passing me by...

pharcyde said it best...

the ones that pass me by
day after day
i see these cats staring
without a thing to say
wonder what they think
i become a blur
imprinted in the minds
thoughts over come her
i don't even bother
not sure why i should
just another cat
looking at me like food
something to ride
fuck or suck
a simple escape
mental nip & tuck
the lives they live
day after day
thinking in the past
without a word to say

70th !

it says i have 69 posts....funni

cracked open like an egg
my thoughts spill out
poured all over this page
that my fingers type out
written in such a fashion
that some 'might' understand
just a spirit in the flesh
like every fellow man
a combination of words
have brought me this far
but it wasn't the mind that wrote this
was the awareness and awe
i live in time
not in the past
always moving forward
standing still as you pass
we never actually move
nor do we stop
atoms bouncing around
with each tick of the clock
winds pass by
but can never be seen
only felt by the mind
and the flesh in between

The mind

As the days progress I learn more about myself,
Ive learned that all the things I need are: food, water, oxygen and minimal shelter
Everything else is the mind simply trying to fill an empty hole of ‘wants’
The mind actually reminds me of Haiti
A place filled with madness, restlessness to no end
Yet,
Everyday it strives to fill those voids…somehow
I can say without honesty that I have far more shit than I will ever need in life
The mind is everyone’s #1 problem
It has taken me years to find reality
Its not what we see, touch, smell, hear or taste
Those are simply the mind responding to ‘stimulants’
I,
Without a doubt,
Feel alone

grateful

the simplicities of life
unravel everyday
the ability to open ones eyes
stretch's ones limbs
great the new day
with a messed up head of hair
most of us take it for granted
honestly far more than less
to be grateful for what we have
thankful for every thought
the ability to type these words
so you can read them
and mind process them
and somehow make sense of it
even if
it doesn't make any sense
i'm grateful for every molecule of air
every blink of an eye
heartbeats
and love

energy

it is lost
it is gained
vast amounts of energy
consumed and drained
we can direct its path
use it to solve math
unaware of its task
with each and every blink
even with the tiniest of thoughts
the slightest of thinks
its what makes us 'us'
crates us into 'us'
pointed toward a particular direction
bound or bust

the step

would you believe me if i told you
i'd leave it all behind
to have you by my side
until the end of time
that on my last breathe
your the only face i wish to see
i could go into the afterlife
blissfully
i wonder where you are
and we will be 'us'
sad, lonely,
heart full of rust
i've endured some pain
felt like i had died
my heart still pounds
with you only you on my mind

breathe...

happens without notice
keeps us alive
simple act of breathing
oxygen to body n mind
beyond 'just that'
an awareness which changes you
you see another realm
which few step into
it is not the 'I'
it is 'being'
life on record
never stopping to repeated/play it
flowers seem more vibrant
scents so intoxicating
not sure how i live before
thankful i can breath
just this once more...

girls...

not a day goes by
i don't see a great face
legs, ass and tits,
all over the place,
to catch a women's eye,
she's unable to look away,
but i never bother,
cause none are going my way,
the best is when their with their man,
makes you smile as in a laugh,
poor guy ain't takin care of biz,
she should just leave his ass,
not sure why i dont bother,
most times not in the mood,
just a man passin by,
thought i'd give you a glance

lightining

we swapped positions
as she panted out of breathe,
the covers were on the floor,
her hair all a mess,
a strike of lightning,
lit the earth,
the curves of her body,
made my heart beat faster,
racing blood to my member,
that was titanium hard,
we tangled arms,
with a soft warm embrace,
she knew i wanted her,
i needed her taste,
as we melted away,
in each others arms,
the pain of world,
couldn't have done us any harm,
she straddled herself in,
and i slide deep inside,
lightning struck again,
her face with nothing but seductive smile

stepping back in time

as the moons have past,
as the winters have gone by,
i've learned and evolved
sometimes even high,
i always believed this,
then it turned into that,
going back in forth,
in circles like a revolving door,
but it all changed,
and the reality finally sunk,
that we're doing things all wrong,
in a state of mental sin,
we crave more
and more and more
emptying out our pockets
to the emptiness of more
many without hope
drunk in a constant crave
of the materialities of life,
which has put us in a daze,
roaming the earth confused,
as we work night and day
to fill that empty hole
day after day after day after day...

positive male role models

How does one become something he's never known?
My dad was close to worthless,
came around when he pleased,
let me down more times humanly imaginable,
I'm trying my best,
With the one i hold close to my heart,
but i feel like its simply never enough,
seems like i should do more,
go here go there,
show her the world every which where,
but i just dont know how,
nor do i know how to,
i've always lived by example,
if i could see it,
i could be it,
but i'm still
time and time again
unknowing how....

the economy

It really blows my mind of the lack that people understand,
Current situation of the economy is far beyond the understand of the 'typical' citizen,
As a fan of economics I can tell you the answer isn't simple,
Its an accumulation of all that happens,
Locally, state-wide, across the US, and stretching to the smallest of towns in the most emptiest of countries,
One must understand indicators as they show the direction of whats going on and which way were headed,
If you thought things were bad,
Its going to be a long while before we get out,
Gets worse before it gets better,
Inflation hasn't kicked in yet in china (just to name one) and other growing markets,
Commodity prices are going to continue to rise (cotton alone has tripled in 6 months! Third world countries struggle with this the most, which is why the US sends billions of dollars in aid to other countries...and people wonder where the trillion + dollar deficit comes from...again just a fraction of the equation),
The only way to fix this problem is to go backwards,
Back to when railroads were the main means of transportation for goods (it would remove mack trucks from crossing state lines and keep $$$ for those costs in state) by creating major city hubs for goods drop offs,
Going back to farming and feeding both the US (first!) then the world (we would also be better able to control food safety!!)
Start up 'green' factories for the future of energy, fuel, commodities and goods,
US has everything it needs to survive on its own (Japan alone imports far beyond its means vs. its exports yet its economy is far beyond the US's),
US needs to utilize its land and punish banks and people for the havoc they have caused!!
China is the new superpower!!!
Yet, shit hasn't hit the fan there yet!!
Being a communist country they have 'pegged' their currency vs the dollar @ 64 to 1, once these currency is able to float around the globe like the Euro, Yen, Pound, Dollar, and others...everything will change,
China has increased their interest rates to slow down the booming economy and rising inflation but the problem persists,
China sets its own fuel prices!! How nice is that!!
Once everything changes in China where will everything be made then?
Will the 'Made in China' sticker still exist?
Which third world country will the globe turn to and help grown next?
There is a bumpy road ahead,
Better make sure your life's vehicle can withstand whats in store for us

puzzle pieces

while lying in bed,
my arms around your frame,
pieces of our body align,
as i fit right in place,
softness of your skin,
aroma of your scent,
a body so lovely,
when the skin is bare,
comfort over whelms me,
and the mind comes to ease,
time no longer exists,
as each breath passes,
sheets shelter our bodies,
bed just a cushion,
i feel the moisture engulf me,
as i slowly start to push in,

flux in time

Many moons ago,
when i was always lite,
dated this one cat,
our love was the shit,
she was one of the best,
in every which way,
never gave up,
she has there to stay,
we split ways,
after i fucked up,
100 miles away,
I was shit outta luck,
many winters passed,
she got married,
and now shes in misery,
married but sad and lonely,
shes dug herself a hole,
which she made herself,
unable to see the light,
she cries day and night,
I'm too far to help,
she doesn't know what to do,
yet she yearns for a love,
one that takes away the blue