my cousin n I

two peas
in two separate pods
brought into this world
just a few months apart
from the same roots
within the same garden
we watched each other sprout
cared.... regardless
you took the lead
i followed another path
you set the bar
i tried to catch up
distant we are
mentally not far
unplugged by choice
from the world that conditions
brainwashed our minds
but out hearts still listen

reality

i learned one day
that nothing was real
things we smell, taste
hear, see and feel
a process within ones mind
an equation which never ends
until its shut down
to be reborn again
a vicious cycle
time and time again
trapped in this madness
along with family and unknown friends
an mathematical computation
multiplied to infinity
until i find myself typing
and you reading

aging

as the years have past
mind begins to change
some are lucky
others, never the same
off goes the mind
body slowly follows
years of abuse
leaves the one hollow
its a sad sight to see
the ones close to your heart
dementia, cancer, heart condition
all in all the same
does it make one suffer?
or more the ones that watch?
to see someone slowly fade away
unable to stop times clock
i'm going to miss my aunt
i carry her close to my heart

passer by

the beauty of a woman
frozen in my mind
curves, complexion
always brings a smile
its like time stood still
as i saw you pass
1st and last glace
just a gaze from my past
our eyes spoke
as we went on
forever in my mind
your beauty never lost

there's days i remember
when the world wasn't so kind
times that have past
when i lost my mind
clouds rolled in
lighting lit the sky
thunder gave me chills
living without will
a particle of dust
floating through the air
carried by the wind
simply without a care
letting things go
not mentally holding on
freedom from bonds
shackles which held me down
a bird on his/her 1st flight
seeing it with all my might

spilled milk

i've been lost for a while
dont mind it one bit
confusion and clarity
only seem to exist
i bounce back and forth
and back around again
i've found life odd
from beginning to end
there is no path
no start nor finish
we come and leave with nothing
these human atoms will eventually diminish
cycle of life will continue
suffering, happiness
hate and love within us
how many people 'live'
how many just live on
in a hazed mind
emotionless, heartless
soul-less on bond
its a train that doesn't stop
let you can always step off
hope to return once more
only to find yourself reading this blog
yet again.......

spining on its axis

days go by
as i sit and wonder
what path to take
before i go under
so many choices
outcomes unknown
time keeps on passing
past each time zone
repetition in days
circle i've walked
like watchin the same movie pass
sun up till dark
another rotation
i see the sun again
life passes by
moon comes for night
unsure, unsure,
unsure, unsure

faces

i've seen many faces
some quite alike
others like no other
some lost in sight
i wonder whats behind that skin
i gentle person
an insane killer
lover, fighter
hopeless, or mentally ill
what creates this need
to fill in the blanks
it exists in everything we do
since we were little kids
we strive to fill the 'void'
the black hole from within
it stares us in the mirror
from a place without sin

movement

they say we move forward
i've found that untrue
we walk the same circle
hang with the same crew
drive a beaten path
stories repeated over
why do they call it
moving forward?
is it away from the now
to a end or a goal
an A to B line
end of a road
or simply a thought
different from our current?

mathematics

the human is one
we have multiplied many times
we've been here for aeons
struggled every time
whom broke the 1st heart
whom beared the 1st child
whom changed a society
whom found their 1st love
though we are all the same
we treated others with shame
killing, raping,
hitting, blaming
pointing of fingers
into a world we've created
trapped in our minds
why do we hate 'us'

struggle

i feel i dont belong
in a world full of wants
everyone tells me i'm wrong
but who knows whats 'wrong'
as the years have past
i've taken many paths
each showed me the way
where i sit right now
i write what the mind say
i dont expect anyone to understand
nor walk a path that doesn't exist
trapped here doing time
waiting for deaths bliss
to maybe return once again
find myself here typing
to readers, writers,
lovers and friends

refresh

in a split second
with my computative mind
i refresh my memories
throughout my lifeline
mentally i'm there
physically im not
a chemical reaction
simply by thought
up in the mainframe
i call my head
my internal hard-drive
re-lives those moments
time and time again
32+ years of memories
whom would have known
until one day
on this blog i post
these visual thoughts
i have shown

pow!

spontaneous enlightenment
awareness in a flash
you want to change your future
make your present the past
unaware of lifes flow
movement of the earth
past never reoccurs
you must wait for rebirth
i have deja vu
over and over again
every detail exact
i'm doing it again
i stop and observe it
as my spirit catches up
lifes like a movie
i've seen it once before
a tad different each time
the same, no more

I

with the mind of an assassin
soul of a monk
i can see crystal clear
with this bag of skunk
left behind for dead
many times again
i find myself lonely
sad from feet to head
the body split in half
like north and south at war
an unforgiving killer
an ungiving whore
content at all times
my minds in a daze
wanting to live simple
from a life of hunger and crave
even when most call it a bore
i sit in thought
as life unravels itself
in its purest form
always roaming
without a home
into the nothingness
i find a home

a native mans words

1. Rise with the Sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.

2. Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path. Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy and greed stem from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.

3. Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

4. Treat the guests in your home with much consideration. Serve them the best food, give them the best bed and treat them with respect and honor.

5. Do not take what is not yours whether from a person, a community, the wilderness or from a culture. If it was not earned or given, it is not yours.

6. Respect all things that are placed upon this earth - whether it be people or plant.

7. Honor other people's thoughts, wishes and words. Never interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them. Allow each person the right to personal expression.

8. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy that you put out into the universe will multiply when it returns to you.

9. All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.

10. Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind, body and spirit. Practice optimism.

11. Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us. They are part of your worldly family.

12. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life's lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow.

13. Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your pain will return to you.

14. Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the test of one's will.

15. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual self, Emotional self, and Physical self - all need to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out the body to strengthen the mind. Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.

lost days

Pondering on my past
When I lived life blazed
Mind was clouded
Dazed in a haze
I miss those times
When the thoughts flowed in and out
It always kept me smiling
Smiling no doubt
Hendrix, Santana
A box of CD’s
Ear covering headphone
Music always set me free
Makin love was the best
Always from the chest
Missin those moments
Glad my mind owns it

my etch a sketch life

It all begins
when I open my eyes
Mind beings to etch
What visions I sees inside
Many days are the same
Yet the thoughts behind the sketch
Aren’t on the pane
Some days its blank
Others filled with lines
Intersecting dots
Via 24hrs time frame
As I lay down to rest
It slowly begins to erase
The sketch starts a new
I etch another day

kindness

I met a man
Whom didn’t have much
His house small, door-less,
Wall-less, toilet-less and such
I stopped to buy a mango
And we spent all we had
he asked if I loved pineapples
if I would care for some
Riding in a 40k rental
But no change to spare
He gave it to me for free
With a smile and with care
I cherished that moment
Wondered what happened to the world
Many dont ‘give’
and simply prefer to take
I hope to return
And pay him back
With whatever I have
For his family, himself
In that small shack
I reflect on that often
Day after day
Whats the harm with giving
Simply just giving it away

money

greed never ends
its the sorrow most have
created more problems
that it has ever solved
no matter how much some have
its simply never enough
an un-fillable pocket
wants keep coming in
you become of slave
work for it night and day
"we" have created this 'thing'
a cancer which plagues almost all
giving up our lives for 'more'
afraid to walk out that mental door
leave it all behind
enjoy life for what it is
spend time with loved ones
especially your kids
take long walks
listen to the snow
smell passing roses
see earths galore

sight

love cannot be seen
nor can it be touched
has no smell
its inaudible
it resonates from the soul
radiates endlessly
it does not want
take
hate
punish
it gives endlessly
those whom love know
some fear it
others seek it
why do people need proof
of love?

another rotation

i sleep and i wake
each and every day
my mind
never seems the same
i see things as a whole
not just as a one
atoms to molecules
rain drops
to oceans
a spec of dust
upon my eyelash
a chain of events
as the 1st domino falls
just another passing day
a few heart beats more
that much closer
to my dying day

ryme

with this bottle of wine
i might get you off my mind
put all our memories
in the past...
move on with my life
find me a wife
a soul mate
until my final breathe
one to withstand all the tests
lay upon my chest
sad, glad, lost
yet connected
my shimmering light
my voice of reason
through every season
she keeps my heart beatin
knows i'll fuck up
always have my back
face the world
hand in hand
we mate for life
love throughout the night
longing to hold her tight
each day....and each nite

sight

dont look to far ahead
be aware of whats behind
see what comes at you
each and every time
flowers that we pass
breathes that we took
hellos become good byes
as day becomes night
inhale the good
rid yourself of bad
opinions are just opinions
bad is just like good
3 sides to every story
sometimes more
blind with sight
numb to feel
heart still pounds
though nothings real

pain

its amazing what people endure
or the pain they create
such a selfish race
the only on earth with hate
what happened to love
where did it go
its not something we work for
its something physically unshown
its what connects us all
as we are all one
a multiplied equation
over and over till done
society, cultures, religious, cults, groups
mentally mold us
we pass on these teachings
to the little ones that look up to us
man will not change
until the end is in sight
pray we find a way
out of darkness
into the light

unfolding

as the days pass on
my skin cell wither away
mentally transforming
as i physically decay
i've found true to be refreshing
like my daily night sleeps
reborn every second
time and time again
as i look back
and see what i once was
i wonder how we get so lost
from this mental programming amongst
we never 'own' anything
life is recycle
everything we take in
has to be given back
our time here
is merely a chance
to see how we 'turn out'
to see what we 'become'
we are the saviors
also the destroyers
our time on earth is short
as is everyones before/after us